It is three in the morning. I couldn't sleep, neither could the dogs. They are out in the yard and I am praying "I" loses her voice till she is back in the house. I hate these nights when I can't sleep at all. I guess everyone has them, when sleep is elusive and not your best friend. I envy these people that can go to sleep instantly and drift into a deep peaceful sleep. I am not one of those. I probably will never be.
Yesterday just wasn't one of my better days. Of course I have always believed our days for the most part are what we make of them. Undoubtedly I was not putting the right things into it because quite frankly it sucked. Steve out of the clear blue assured me if I died first I had not one friend he would do anything with. He would tell them all to scoot on down the road. Excuse me please, "Why are we talking of my demise?" I sure hadn't brought the subject up. He wouldn't leave it alone though. He kept naming them over and assuring me he would not have another woman. Not nary a one. I felt so much better. But finally after ten minutes of this I told him not to worry if he died first I would never have another man. I would do quite fine with my dogs and all of his Social Security instead of the small part I draw now. He looked at me strange and muttered something about hoping I wasn't going to try to rush it along. Smiling I assured him I had no such plans and hoped he wasn't trying to rush me either.
Our talk was on the way to the casino where I promptly lost every Penny I had. My day wasn't looking up at all. On the way home he asked if I wanted to go on "Judge Judy," as he heard we could both get 500 dollars a piece just for being on the show.. I asked why in the world would we go on "Judge Judy," what could I sue him over. He promptly said, "Alienation of Affection." I'm still shaking my head over that one. Once home depressed over the fact I lost my little bit of money and Steve was talking of his plans after my death. I promptly headed for the kitchen. Imagine the shock when I found there was no Little Debbie in the house. Not only was she gone, all the Keebler Elf's had left with her. I felt a total sinking feeling in my stomach. How could I possibly cope with all my problems with the gang all gone? All of a sudden I remembered yesterday he brought me home a box of Fiddle Faddle. I raced back to the kitchen. Then the ugly truth hit me. I had ate the whole box ten minutes after he brought it into the house. I felt tears in my eyes. This was too much to bear.
Later after I settled down a little, I got to thinking. I always get into trouble when I do that much. We never really know what other people are thinking. We sometimes think we do, but really we don't. I am riding along nicely in the car and he starts talking of what he would do after my death. Makes me wonder just how long he has been turning that over in his mind. I catch myself looking at him often since yesterday. Wondering just what is moving around up there anyway. All I can say is I am very glad we have no Insurance. Good grief I just remembered something. Just last week he said we should think about getting some. it looks as if I just might have a problem.
I guess from my talking about Debbie and the Keebler brothers you have noticed I have not stuck with my diet. Oh well if I am leaving anytime soon I guess I might just as well eat what I want.You know when I think about it, he has been buying me many snacks lately. Hmmm, I wonder if his thinking could be, the fatter I am, the slower I will run away if he's after me.. Something I should think about. Tomorrow I am dieting for sure. But for now, I'm outta here.
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