WHERE THE HECK IS BILLYE?

Tuesday has arrived and with it the rain. There is no chance "I" will walk out the door. As I have said before she doesn't do rain. She sits now here in the room with me, resting in a chair, eating cookies. She gives a small yap when she finishes one and wants another. Oh for the dogs life.

I think a great deal about why I am so different than the rest of the family. I guess its that way in many families. One person the Black sheep. The round peg in a square hole. That's me okay, never slipping in easy, always half in and half out. So lately I have been trying to turn over in my mind different things that happened as a child that might have triggered my strange behavior. And finally I have come up with the answer. My Momma drove away when I was four and left me in the grocery store. Don't laugh. I am here to tell you, its a very traumatic experience. One I am sure that I have never fully recovered from.

I always say my Momma didn't love me like the others. I hear that Violin you're playing in the background. No I am not feeling sorry for myself. Mom loved Geri because she was the oldest, Bud because he was the only boy. Brenda because she was the baby. Where does that leave me. Who ever has heard of being special because you're the middle child. Not!!!!

But let me tell you, when my Mother drove away that summers day and left me. Brenda wasn't even born. I was the baby, only four. That ought to tell you something. And what makes it even worse she had Bud and Geri with us too and she didn't leave them behind. Oh no, they went right along with her. And get this, neither one of them spoke up and said, "Mom, Billye isn't in the car. Nary a soul said a word.

Now I know you're going to say, well she probably thought you were in the backseat with the groceries. This is the kicker, there was no backseat. It was a coupe. All of us had to sit up front in the one seat. How could you miss me. Besides I never shut up even as a child. Surely they would have guessed it was pretty quiet in the car. No I think she just thought it would be nice to have a break and guess who she decided to take a break from. You got it, me.

One minute everyone was there. I looked away and they were gone. I was only four and I remember crying. They sat me up on the counter and gave me a Orange pop and that appeased me. Remember stores weren't like they are today. Smaller, more friendly. She said when they got home and started taking the groceries out they realized I wasn't there. They drove all the way home and didn't see there was only three people in the front seat not four. I find that a little hard to buy. If I was four that made my sister nine. I always sat next to her, Bud had to seat at the front of the seat next to Mom. Then me, then Geri. Did those two kids not look at each other and think, "Where the heck is Billye? What worries my mind, is they looked at each other, smiled and said, "Mom's finally come to her senses and is sending her back."

Now I am sure my sister will say she never remembers this happening. My brother will say the same thing I know.But it did happen and the result of this misdeed has caused emotional scarring that has resulted in me not being a stable person. So I think that should safely cover any wrong doings that I have ever committed. Don't you think? Being the middle child was not easy. If anyone read this that was a middle child you'll understand. Did your Mother ever leave you anywhere? For your sake I hope not. But I have lingered today long enough. For now I'm outta here.