INCREDIBLE

Tues morning. It is 5:19 AM. before I even start this. I want to say I am sorry for yesterday. I read back over it and had not used spell check. Good grief, the spelling was terrible. I won't forget today. I have been up since four. Steve left town for a couple of days and getting him ready when he is sleepy, cranky and not Mister Sunshine takes it out of you. But peace has settled over our house and the dogs have gone back to bed. When a chatty Cathy yearns for peace and quiet, you know things have been hectic. My little guys and I have settled into the silent mode. I am hoping we stay right in this mode the next two days.

I talk about my dogs on here every once in awhile. Especially my "I". Before we become dog parents, we had dogs over the years. I had been around dogs all my life. But I was never connected, Man's best friend sort of relationship with any dog. We got "H" eight years ago. Then in June 2005 my best friend came to live with me. We named her Incredible, we call her "I". I had always sort of looked down on people who treated their dogs as human. We had several I loved and took as good as care as I could of them. But when they were gone, no tears were shed. Then came "I".

I have turned into one of those little old ladies who treat their dog as if it was a baby. I baby her but the way I treat her is called friend. She is my friend, my constant companion. You know like the "Lone Ranger and Tonto." I have friends, human friends, Many I have known for years but "I" is different. I go days sometimes that I only see Steve and he is gone much of the time. The phone doesn't rang alot but I have my friend, "I". We trudge through the days side by side.

When my feet hit the floor, four or five AM, it doesn't matter. She hits the floor with me. She follows me room to room. Looking at me as if to say, "Whats up Mom?" Her loyalty is never ending. Her love is apparent. Always there, always the same. Not many friends you can say that about. People let you down. Most of the time they probably don't mean too, but they do. Not my "I".

I feel when you deal with people there is always a certain amount of game playing involved. Always careful, walking softly, eggs shatter easy you know. We all, well most of us, crave human companionship, but sometimes it can wear you out. Nerves rubbed to the raw edge. That's when my "I" can jump on my lap and looks up at me with trust and love. No prices to pay, no angry word to shoot at me. Just love. I can take a deep breath and just calm down.

Sometimes after a really rough day when the arrows fly at me and I feel I need a umbrella to hold over my head to protect me from the storm. I look down, I pick her up, holding her close to my chest. She kisses me. "It's okay Mom,"she says with her eyes. "I love you."

Most of you think I'm nuts anyway so I don't mind saying this on paper, for the world to see. Of course we know there won't be a world reading this but for those that do. I want to say, "I", is my miracle. When despair knocks at my door, its "I" that answers the door with me. this Little fourteen pound dog, she won't be that weight for long if she doesn't lay off the cookies. But this little dog is my strength, is what I hold onto when I feel so overwhelmed. She is my friend, she sleeps beside me, she lays next to me in my chair. When I feel the hot breath of anger on my neck she looks at me. She gives me hope. For another day, another shot of energy to keep me going.

What a very strange Blog today, right? I get on these kicks and when I read my Blogs back a few days later. I think good grief I have probably lost what few readers I have. Call me crazy, a crazy old lady who loves her dog. But you must understand, she may look like a dog to you. To me she is what gives me strength when the inside of the house I spend so many hours in seems to have even the air filled with tenseness. I hold my "I". I am at peace. I wonder what soft, gentle person's persona lives in my "I". God has truly sent me something to hold on too.

So this is my Blog for today, written by a woman, a older woman who believes her dog has a special sweet spirit in her little body and she was sent to me to give me the strength to keep going. Don't feel sorry for me being nuts. It isn't really a bad way to be. Oh but take heart, I haven't started talking to myself yet. So maybe I haven't really crossed the too far gone line. But I do talk to "I", all the time. I swear that someday I know she will answer me back. If she ever does, I will be sure to let you know what she has to say.