I'M BACK.

It is 7:40. I am late on getting my blog on here. Now of course I have no set time to do this. Its just since I started this I have gotten it posted by 6:00 am. I wrote one earlier but was not happy with it. I have been you know in a funk for days. I looked at it, reread it and walked away from the computer. Why would I want to publish this garbage , I thought. I worked around the house, trying to figure out just what in the H--l was going on with me. Now I know.

I got to thinking about Evelyn across the street. The lady who is ninety-six. She's up early everyday. You never see her when she is not dressed nice, her eyes twinkling and curls bouncing. I know why she is young acting, why she always has a smile and does not quit doing things she does because of the number of years she has lived. She has a passion. She faithfully goes out and tells the news about Jehovah. Now I have already stated I do not believe the way she does. But bless her for having a belief so strong she is always out telling someone about it. I have always been someone who tried hard to keep up my appearance, sometimes failing but always trying. I realize lately I have just thought,"Why bother?" Well I know now why bother, I am going to go back to doing it for me. Its good to be concerned about others but you have to take care of yourself before you can ever take care of anyone else.

The statistics of older Americans with depression is high. They lose their passion for living. They think because they are getting older they will be looked at critically if they do certain things. That others will think they are desperately trying to be young. Well, excuse me isn't that what we are suppose to do. Live everyday doing what makes you feel good about yourself. And if you feel good about yourself you will in turn be able to interact with others better. It doesn't matter if you are ninety-six or sixty. Its not over till its over.

What I have done lately has began to be more concerned with fitting myself into a peg I don't fit in and don't want to fit in. Its okay to be me. Its okay to make-up silly songs and write a blog. Its okay to dress the way I want. Its also okay to get my feelings hurt once in awhile for real or imagined slights. My neice Lori wrote a comment on my blog a few weeks ago that she would always fight getting older, she would wear her hair long and wear jeans. Regardless of her age. "Go girl." Who says you have to cut your hair because you get older. Who is chief of that department? My daughter was over a couple of days ago and she is growing her hair out. I love it. I sat across from her and all I could see was that thirteen year old with her hair in hot curlers. Then she would take it down and have a cascade of waves. Oh how I hope she lets it grow. She looked so pretty.

The moral to this ramble is be yourself. I am over the Birthday hum drums, really over it. Bring em on. I hope I am around for many more. Age you can't scare me. I am who I am. Maybe sometimes that's not good, sometimes it is. I think they call that life. But I'm in for the duration. I'm back.