Sunday morning is back once again. She's cold but the snow is almost gone. Very slight patches lay around the yard. "I" went out about four. I only went as far as the door. Even she hesitated at the door, like she does when its raining. Sometimes she stares into the darkness as if she thinks there may be something out there she doesn't want to walk into. She went but not for long. We both do not seem to be snapping into today too quickly.
I started waking up by three. I didn't get up until four. I had lying on the desk two tickets. One for power ball, one for Lotto. Lotto had went up to four Million. For me I had convinced myself. Power Ball was ninety-six million. For me I convinced myself. The family was going to love me. Everyones life's would change. Nobody would ever remember one of my past transgressions. I would be very popular.
For the last few days I have been dividing it up in my mind. Who would get what. Maybe a family business I thought. My daughter and son-in-law would never work again. Of course I would have to win the Power Ball for them to retire, but why not? Jer could start a church. I would put the Grandsons in a business. I was sure I would do that. I even worried they would argue over running it. Maybe I would just put them both in separate ones. Ninety-six Million, the skies the limit. Oh and my Brandi. A new car, a house, cash for everyone.
When I got up at four I hurried to the bathroom, then jumped on the computer. Going to the lottery site the first thing I did was look at the money amounts for next Wednesday. It was starting Over. Both of the money amounts had been won. With trembling hands I picked up my tickets. Squinting hard so I could read them, my heart plummeted. I had not won. No joyous shouting, no best friend to my family for life. I was still poor. The Great Gambling Gods had did it to me again.
Somewhere there is shouting, somewhere happiness fills a house. But its not here. The Emperor is still sleeping. "I" has went back to bed. Her dreams of a cushy new home shot to heck. I feel very sad. Then I realize there is aways next week. The money amounts won't be so high, but I'm not greedy. I smile. Too much money would have probably been the ruin of us all anyway. I am totally convinced I will win the Lottery some day. Please don't try to bust my bubble.
Downtown Blogland. On the street I find a old lottery ticket. Hmmm, they must gamble here too. I know people think gambling is a waste of money. I suppose it is. But I will keep on buying my tickets. I will always be a dreamer. I head towards home. The wind is very cold here this morning. I won't be buying a new coat anytime soon. I start running. I'm going home. For today, I'm outta here.
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