HIS MIDDLE NAME IS PAUL

Tuesday is here. When I got up at four I was afraid she might have brought along freezing rain but all seems dry from my spot at the front door. I hope it continues to be that way.

I haven't written much the last couple of weeks. I write, then don't post. After rereading them, I shake my head and hit delete. I wanted to write about Mike, my grandson. I wanted to tell you he turned thirty-five on Sunday. I also wanted to tell you that his middle name is Paul after his Doctor that delivered him after not meeting his Mother till minutes before his birth. It was important you know what a wonderful Dad I think he is. But alas with the touch of delete the words went sliding into oblivion. But this was information that was important you know.

I get these moods, actually I have not noticed them so much until the last few years. But truthfully I was probably always this way but just don't want to admit it. Indecisive. I am having an early melt down because the dreaded day is coming soon. When I wrote I had a breakdown over my last birthday you can imagine what this one is doing to me. I can't even say the words let alone be it. I am turning into a Codger. A little shiver slides down my spine as I write the words. You can close your eyes when you look in the mirror, you can pretend your knees don't creak. But nothing changes the fact when you turn that number that has a seven in it, followed by a zero. It pretty much is over. "Groan, Groan."

I have always thought I would have time to do all these things I have always wanted to do. Back-pack Mexico, learn Spanish, Walk the Katy Trail, write a book, climb a Mountain, learn to swim, take a plane ride, run the New York Marathon and stand on the top deck of The Empire State building. Folks I may be running out of time.

My sister who I have always thought so sweet not ornery and mean like me. Has faithfully been giving me a count down everyday so I won't forget how close I am coming to the dreaded day. Today is seventeen days. I am getting mighty nervous. If anyone even dares to say that age out loud I am not sure how I will react. The words keep being whispered in my ears. "Codger, Codger." I am thinking I may need to put a blue tint in my hair. I think I may be officially becoming one of those. "The Blue Hairs." How did this ever happen?

I get to the turn around corner in Blogland. I slip my hands into my pocket. Taking my words out I start to toss them to the wind. I happen to look down and see my hands. "Good grief," I have old lady hands. A tear slides down my cheek. I slowly start making my way back home. I'm moving slow. Us Codgers walk this way you know. But for now, I'm outta here.