Thursday, Thor day. You remember, right? "I" and me have been up since before four. Sleep my friend who is not faithful did not visit me very consistent last night. To bed at ten, asleep by eleven. She left me by two but I stubbornly stayed in bed till almost four. I am up and sit here at the computer. Hot chocolate at my ready. I'm not to sure words will be so faithfully at my ready too.
Our house still holds remnants from yesterday. A woman I knew not well but knew passed away last week. Her daughter called at eight-thirty yesterday morning. She asked if I would like some of her Mother's clothes" I said yes. That was when I heard the closet groan, loudly. Along with the Emperor. An hour later he went after them. He came back, bags and bags of clothing, shoes filled the car. The daughter told him, her name is Karen. to bring me back. I went. We brought home another car load, of ducks, chickens, Dolls. So many items. Then I sat down amidst the bags and thought, "Holy shit, what do I do now?"
I worked all day sorting. I promised my son bags for "The Water Gardens." A homeless refuge that gives away belongings for no charge, no red tape. I called a friend, she came, she wore the exact same size as Gerry. She lives on 600 hundred dollars a month. No money for new clothes for her. She took away a load. Another came and took some for the needy. I have promised a lady who needs tennis shoes for her granddaughter who wears size seven two pairs. I say all this to say this. I think Gerry would be happy. I think she smiled at knowing her clothes will warm the homeless and brighten he day of an ex-drug addict that has very few shoes or clothes.
Her name was Geraldine. They called her Gerry. I've known her a few years. Not real well. But her smile and ready friendliness spoke to me. There was a kind genuine nature about her. Her daughter is the wife of a friend of The Emperor. I talked to her whenever I saw her. I know little of her past life. She had children grandchildren, nephews. A family. I know from the way she touched me only knowing her causally that her passing will leave a vast void in their life's.
It was hard for me to talk to Karen, her daughter. Even after all these years the pain on someones face on losing their Mother sweeps back over me, as if it was only yesterday when Momma left us. I brought tears to her eyes, tears to mine. I did not mean to. I only wanted to say, I felt Gerry was a special person. Her leaving will leave an empty space in many life's. I will not see her smile again.
I still have items on the table. I must find places to put them. I have beautiful Christmas dolls in my living room. Clothes to yet hang in my closet. As I sorted yesterday the cold hard fact hit me in the face. This someday will be my fate. My clothes passed around, given out. I smiled, someone who wears a size eight shoe will hit the Mother load with my passing. My son will come today and take the bags. Many who have very little will benefit from this. I want my clothes and things to do the same. But while I'm still here, I'm keeping a tight hold on them.
So as I stand in downtown Blogland. The traffic light flashing its usual red lights against the skies. I reach once again into my pocket. Taking out the words that rest upon the page. I whisper good-bye to Gerry and watch the wind pick up the words and toss them skyward. Then the strangest thing happened. For the first time in all my trips to Blogland this last year I see a star. Shining brightly. I felt good. May you walk with the Angels Gerry, you will be greatly missed.
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