THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT TO WRITE.

Wednesday with its midweek Aura is here. My days seem such a blend anymore, running together, blending their edges, Until I can't tell one from the other.

I had a topic picked out in my mind for today. It was called, "Three little girls from Easton their names all start with J"." For my great-niece Jackie. I will write it, probably tomorrow. I have been wanting to write about Jackie and her two cousins for quite awhile. But some thoughts came into my head yesterday and I decided I would write about them today.

I don't believe I have ever told you why the name of my Blog is what it is. Quite possibly you don't care. But I will tell you anyway. "A stranger in my own skin." Part of it comes from looking up one day into the mirror and thinking who in the heck is that woman? Also from how I feel people precept older persons. And how you can go years of your life, blindly seeing things one way and then realizing they are another. But this is what has happened to me.

My sister-in-law Dixie use to always tell me I was a Pollyanna, Too chirpy and looking for the best. Because I always believed there was that rainbow and at the end of it lay the treasure. I felt that about people as much as I did about anything. That there lies in us all usually a goodness that will eventually rise to the top and be seen. I to my sadness have found that is not totally true. To me it is sad to discover there is not always the treasure. Not always the goodness laying underneath the surface. Rising slowly to the top. It saddens me to realize what is showing, is sometimes exactly what there is and nothing more. To realize that in some instances that what you see is what is the truth about a circumstance or a person.

But for the most part I still believe that all of us are basically trying our best. Its just we never see ourselves in the light that others see us. I try hard to remember that when I am bowled over by someones actions or lack of understanding. Could it possibly be true that they may think the same of me. Could be I suppose. We all usually choose to see ourselves in a rosy light. Its when the light really comes on that we realize that maybe we don't look so rosy after all.

These last few months have been eye opening and sad at the same time. As I have come to the realization as I grow older people are not always what we want them to be. And we ourselves are not always what we want ourselves to be or thought we were. As the years slide by me with increasing speed I see myself in a different light. "A stranger in my own skin."