Friday has arrived. The weekend with its promise for those that work, a break from the daily grind. I wish I had a job to have a break from. I suppose I could do a little more work around the house but that does not sound like near as much fun as having a job again and getting paid. When I checked my email this morning early I found a short note from my little granddaughter-in-law. It made me smile from ear to ear. Bless her heart, she gets me. I wanted to include it in my Blog for today. Hope you don't mind Brandy but here it is.
My Grandma Billye,she is a gypsy queen,she would say so herself.The life she's lived,the things that she's seen. My grandma Billye,she is strong,angry,and somewhat black,quick as a whip and sharp as a tack. My grandma Billye is both things you see,but most of all has always been a friend to me. Thank-you Brandy for the wonderful words. I am so happy someone can see the Black part of me.
Back when I was young I wanted many children. Life didn't turn out that way. I had two and they were years apart. But as I grow older and realize how much children, grandchildern and so forth tug on your heart strings. I am glad I only had two. My Mother use to say,"When they are little they walk on your feet, when their grown they walk on your Heart. Its not that they walk on my heart but the worry that comes with loving children can be very painful. Its the same for the Grandchildren and Great-grandchildren. The worry never stops. You are connected.
I may not see or talk to them much but just knowing they are there, living their life's, for the most part being happy, makes me happy. But then let a big problem come along and it seems its more at times than this old heart can take. I want to grab them up, which of course would not be easy as they are grown. And just run, run as hard and as fast as I can. So nothing bad can happen to them or affect them wrong in anyway.
I have prayed so much this last year, "I know God thinks why doesn't she just shut up?" Well God you should know by now that just isn't going to happen. I holler,"Hey God just answer this situation the way I want and I will shut up. Only silence comes back to me, and I am desolate. My heart is heavy. I want so much to make the ones I love safe and protected. I realize more and more as the years roll by that isn't the way life works.
I wish I could win the Power Ball, buy a Island and kidnap all my family and move them there. Where all would be safe and secure. I am very sure they would not want to l,live on an Island with me, thats why I used the word kidnap. But of course we cannot live our loved ones life, or put them in a bubble. If only we could.
So I pray, long prayers, short ones. I plead, bargain and all those things we do when desperation knocks on our door. If I could, would I choose not to have my children, grandchildren and the greatgrands. Just so I could be worry free. Of course not. I know the worry goes along with the loving. I will never win Mother of the year. But in my heart beats a love so strong for them all. I want them happy, I want them safe from the world and the pain that can reach out in a instance.
So with these heavy words. I make my journey back to the edge of Blogland. Leaving the vast cyberspace behind one more day. Take care if you should read these words. And I hope to see you here again. But for now I'm outta here.
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